Negative Self Talk? How to Let Go of This Debilitating Habit

Negative Self Talk? How to Let Go of This Debilitating Habit

Just stop it!

My advice to you on how to let go of negative self-talk during the Covid-19 Quarantine is: Just stop it!

“I can’t believe I just said that! I’m so embarrassed.”

Well, I would be embarrassed if I didn’t actually mean it.

In this time of world wide coronavirus pandemic, sometimes everything out there just seems to be so serious.

Yes. We have to take what our health officials say about self-isolation and social distancing seriously. However, let’s’ take the pressure off ourselves right now.

So, while we are all stuck at home, or in a nice hotel prison, I decided to give you some great content on how to let goof negative self-talk during the Covid-19 Quarantine period.

However, I am going to add some humour, a lightheartedness.

Not too much.

Just enough to take the pressure off this this topic.

And.

At the end, I am going to give you my most favourite stress management technique for overcoming simply any issue in the whole, wide, world.

Why Negative Self-Talk Arises

Seriously though. This is why negative self-talk arises.

We all have that little voice in our heads. For some, it may not be so little.

Sometimes this voice in there is saying, in a positive capacity: “I think I can, I think I can.”

However, The National Science Foundation says approximately 80% of our thoughts are negative. And. That 95% of our thoughts are repetitive.

So, what that means, is that our self-talk is more like this: “I think I can’t, I think I can’t.”

But. On a constant loop.

All day. Every day. And. What this consistency of repeated negative self-talk turns into is this:

“I know I can’t. I know I can’t”.

However, letting this kind of negative self-talk run rampant in your head, can be just as contagious as the coronavirus itself.

Scary, right?

Why would that be so? Why do we continually have these types of negative thoughts?

It is because of your inherent low self-concept and lack of self-esteem.

Everything you think, feel, say or do, reinforces your current self-concept.

Achieving wellness on any level means that by dealing with, e.g. your negative self-talk, you will be increasing your sense of self-worth at the same time.

(You can read more about topic this on my Home Page article.)

So, since we are all trapped in our houses/dwellings, during this Covid-19 crisis, and while we are all at home trying to make the best of this quarantine, it needs to be said, that it is the worst time to sit and constantly berate yourself.

Isolation can bring on thoughts that are not conducive to happy living.

We do, though, think these things and then berate ourselves.

However, isolation and quarantine,also gives us time, and an opportunity,to reflect on how we have been living our lives. And, perhaps, if we can take a more positive view,we will be brave enough to instigate some new techniques and strategies to overcome some of our limitations.

Personally. I know I must be having some negative self-talk going on because it leads me to the chocolate section in the supermarket. Or. To red wine. Shiraz mainly.

Is anyone else having this problem right now?

Feeling in adequate and eating and drinking more?

I encourage you to take some baby steps during this time of reflection and deal with at least one of your negative self-talk sentences.

So, now let’s look at some of the most common types of negative self-talk because sometimes, people are not even aware, that these conversations in your head, are, actually detrimental to their well-being, and overall wellness.

Types of Negative Self-Talk

Some examples of types of negative self-talk can include:

“I’m an idiot.”
“I never do anything right.”
“I’m such a loser.”

Some can seem more innocent like: “Should I have worn this shirt?”

These types of thoughts limit and inhibit you. While robbing you of peace of mind.

Why?

Because there are many types of “sneaky” negative self-talk sentences, that go by, unnoticed.

Unnoticed?

Yes. They are unnoticed, because we have been repeating them throughout our lives, and they become part of our repertoire.

They are subtle. They appear to be harmless. Everyone uses Them. However, they are forever lurking just below the surface, silently bringing us down.

The constant build-up of this type of repertoire weighs us down with negativity,and adds to our low self-concept and lack of self-esteem.

Ok. So here is some more serious information on how we arrive at specific negative self-talk sentences.

Ways we entertain this type of thinking:

1. By filtering things out of our consciousness –This means we magnify negative aspects of a situation and filter out the positive ones. Why? Because of the repetition and build-up of our negative self-talk repertoire,during our entire lives.

2. By taking things too personally/and by guilt tripping–We automatically blame ourselves when something goes bad. I know I do. This has been one of my most difficult life lessons. Still learning. But. Am, making positive steps forward.

3. By catastrophizing things –We automatically imagine the worst possible outcome. This is based on our in-built response to stressful situations. When we control how we respond to stress we gain control over our lives.(You can read about how to let go of stuff, and respond to stress differently, in this article)

4. By mind reading–We somehow think we have magical powers(even when we cannot get a handle over our own lives) we think we know what someone else thinks about us. (I have a clairvoyant for that).

Ok. So, what lessons can you take out of this section?

You may be able to recognize what you are doing. And. By becoming more aware, you are more likely to be able to do something about it. And. Stop it.

Personally, I identify with all of the above.

But. My favourites are: number 1 and 2.

What ‘s yours?

As Jennice Vilhaur Ph.D. says: “While punishment can deter certain behaviors in the short term, rewards are generally better for shaping new and lasting behavior.”

Personally, I know I have taken this “rewards” aspect too far lately with chocolate and red wine.So, I am taking time to do something more positive about this today.

Instead of getting a large block of chocolate, I decided on chocolate Topped, gluten free rice crackers. They have to be low-cal, right?

But seriously. The way to go is to move towards more positivity with baby steps.which is what I feel I have done today, with my choice of a low-cal option.

And.

The biggest life lesson in this section could be: Be kind to yourself.

So, what we will look at in the next section is something that we often don’t concern ourselves with. And that is, we truly do not understand what the effects of negative self-talk have on our body/mind and overall wellbeing.

Effects of Negative Self-Talk

The effects of negative self-talk can be felt in many ways. Mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

The key to look out for here is that this negative self-talk will affect your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

And.

These negative thoughts and feelings, when accumulated over time, will result in these types of effects on our body/mind:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Procrastination- This is an especially thorny rose. We are lesslikely to seize new opportunities for bettering our lives. We don’t even bother with new and challenging things.
• Limited thinking
• Stress
• Fear
• Anger
• Guilt/Shame
• Regret

Being able to identify the effects of negative self-talk will help you see what you are doing to yourself.

And. Hopefully. Help you to stop it.

The accumulation of negative self-talk and build-up in our repertoire of negative self-talk, can also lead to more complicated health issues such as these:

• High blood pressure
• Heart disease
• Low energy
• Insomnia
• Lower immune system

This is just to name a few. And it only scratches the surface.

The biggest issue in this coronavirus situation is the effect on the immune system. From an epigenetic point of view, Dr Bruce Lipton, in his book titled: Biology of Belief, states that we create our disease based on our beliefs.

A different perspective and something to think about.

This coronavirus issue has magnified the need for all of us to strengthen our immune system.

I am sure you have heard this before: “Thoughts create your reality.”Dr Lipton has proved this.

If you continue to have negative thoughts which lead to negative self-talk,you will create a negative outlook on life, a negative reality.And this affects the whole of your body/mind.

And, importantly, how this manifests physically, can be different for each individual. (You can read more about this in my book titled: Boost Success in All Areas of Your Life – How to build ultimate resilience and energy)

Ok. So, what lessons can you take out of this section?

If you go over the list of illnesses and the list of the negative effects of your self-talk, can you identify with any of these?

What kinds of things are your negative thoughts bringing into your reality?

From the list above, personally, I identify with insomnia occasionally, and, procrastination on many occasions. However, I haven’t given up. I still keeping trying.Re-setting. And. Doing a bit at a time.

The biggest life lesson in this section could be: if you stop the negative self-talk, you will have a greater chance of having a more positive reality,and a healthier body/mind.

We’ve been a bit serious in this section.

So, in the next section, we are going to look at the benefits of positive thinking.

And.

Very soon you will get to see what my favourite stress management technique is, for overcoming any issue in the whole, wide, world.

Benefits of Positive Thinking

Ok. So, what are some of the benefits of positive thinking and being able to turn around your negative self-talk?

The benefits of positive thinking include:

• Lower rates of depression
• Lower rates of anxiety and distress
• Better psychological and physical wellbeing
• And, the most relevant one of all is, that positive thinking gives you better coping skills during hardships and times of stress.

There are obviously many, many more. But. We do want to conclude this article soon.

Ok. So, what lessons can you take out of this section?

Personally, I identify with the last one in that I know that positive thinking gives me better coping skills. (You can read more about this in this article on self-care)

What do you relate to above?

The biggest life lesson in this section could be: if you stop the negative self-talk, and adopt more positive thinking you will have a greater chance of having a more positive reality, and being able to cope in difficult times.

Ok. In the next section we will be looking at how to let go and allow the universe to help us find better solutions.

How to Let Go and Let the Universe do its Thing

“What do I do with all this information?” you ask.

“How do I let go of negative self-talk and let the Universe do its thing?”

Short answer. Get out of your own way!

Jim Kwik,life/business coach and brain trainer to the stars, has some good advice on how to do this.

When it comes to your negative self-talk, he says: don’t fight it, and don’t fight for it.

Don’t fight it, because what you resist persists.

So, by constantly telling yourself these types of negative sentences e.g. “I am not a bad person”, you will keep thinking about it all day, and be repeating the negative, rather than the positive aspects. Negativity is reinforced.

Why is this so?

The subconscious mind is not able to distinguish between a negative “don’t”, and a positive “do”. It seems to delete the “not”.

So, this means that you need to reframe your negative self-talk and negative thoughts into the positive.

For example, you could transform:

“I am not a bad person”, into:

“Every day I am becoming a better person”

Ok. So, what lessons can you take out of this section?

Personally, I know I need to reframe some of my thoughts and negative self-talk into the positive.

For example, instead of saying to myself: “You are so bad at time management”.

(And having a glass of wine as my go-to coping strategy)

I need to reframe this negative self-talk into this type of statement:“Yesterday I had a bit of trouble organizing my time. Today I am better organized.”

What ‘s yours? What is the biggest negative self-talk sentence you are saying about yourself?

The biggest life lesson in this section could be is: you need to be aware of when you are instigating negative self-talk, and be able to reframe those sentences into a more positive way.

In this way you will have a greater chance of having a more positive reality, and being able to cope in difficult times.

From the above, hopefully you will have gained some useful information, and might choose to implement some of these strategies.

Drum roll…

The juice.

The Easiest Solution on How to Let go of Negative Self-Talk During the Covid-19 Quarantine

Out of all the tips I’ve introduced so far, my favourite and most effective Stress management technique, is best described in the video below.

Take it in the vein that it is meant. It is meant to cheer you up whilst you are imprisoned at home, or in quarantine, somewhere in the world.

Do take a look at this short video and you’ll see why.

See. Now you’ll agree with the message throughout this article.

Stop it.

Just stop it.

It works instantly. Profound yet simple. It’s easy to apply. It’s the quickest way to let go of negative self-talk that I know.

STOP IT!

Why? Because the negative self-talk and negative thoughts we repeat daily have a HUGE impact on our lives.

It’s time to grab hold that inner, negative part of you. The one who is chipping away at your happiness.

Your insanity.

Grab him/her by the scruff of the neck and make a change today. You can do this.

As Bob Newhart says: “STOP ITTTT… or I’ll bury you alive in a box!!!!“

If you have found some pearls of wisdom here, or otherwise, during your confinement, please leave a comment below.

Blessings.