By Celine Healy
You feel overlooked.
You’re hooked into the work culture. You think you understand the rules.
You’ve done your time. It’s exhausting!
You’ve sacrificed your family life. Your social life.
But. You still aren’t getting ahead.
You feel overwhelmed. Is there something you’re not doing?
Are others doing it differently. And. You don’t know how?
Are you missing the point?
Professional career women can sometimes get so hooked into the “success game”, they trade off and enormous list of things they used to do. Used to enjoy. For the chance of being at the top and climb the success ladder.
If you are spending enormous amounts of time and energy “trying”, and not getting anywhere, it means your judgment could well be clouded. You might not understand the “real” rules of the game you are trying to play. Or. You haven’t been open to a different approach to reach the success level you desire.
It has been said that when you are having fun, not caring about outcomes, and not involved in resisting impenetrable walls, success comes to you by default. As such, choosing to enjoy life could be a better option.
With these three steps, you’ll be able to play a different game — and succeed.
If you feel overwhelmed there is an actual chemical reason for this. It is not in your mind. It’s not you being “emotional”. It’s not you throwing a “gender issue” tantrum.
It means you are affected by the physical effects of stress on your body/mind.
When you are stressed there are chemical reactions that flow throughout your body/mind. Adrenal overload.
This causes your mind to become foggy. Cloudy. And. It impairs judgement. This actual physical response to a stressful event, has been designed, so that it takes away your ability to activate your conscious mind. Your logical brain. It weighs up alternatives.
You don’t want or need that in a danger situation. You need your subconscious, automatic response mechanism to activate so that you run on “immediate”, not a considered response. This will keep you safe from harm.
The longer you are in a stressed state, the longer this process of adrenal overload will continue. The harder it is to stop/reverse.
You need to stop this process. You have to take stock. You need to need to initiate some type of stress resolution process to stop this adrenal overload. Otherwise you will not be able to get clear again. Focused. Making better judgments.
So, fix your body first. Then, fix your mind.
Are you seeing the bigger picture here?
Success comes to more men than women in the workplace. There are simply more men, in most professions. They were there first. And. There is a secret code by which they operate.
The bible states that Adam was made first. Then Eve was fashioned out of one of his ribs. Since then, women have played second fiddle.
There’s been a “system” in place since the beginning of time. Men have been bred to rule. To conquer. To provide.
As women have evolved, they have desired more autonomy. More freedom. More equality.
Women have tried to buck this “system”. To change men’s basic nature. To worm their way into men’s domain. Their place of work. Perhaps their sanctuary.
If you can stand back and observe what is really happening here, you will be able to grasp that you have been sucked into this patriarchal way of doing things. The man’s game.
You have to disengage. You will not be able to do this until you, firstly, stop your body/mind from being clouded. Then you will be able to fully understand what rules are really in place.
Knowledge leads to understanding. To being more successful.
You see. Playing the men’s game, you will always fail. It’s not about playing a woman’s game either. It is about learning about how the world really works. The laws of the universe. How success works. Then adopting those principles to play a different game.
When you continue to play a man’s game you will further increase your stress. When this happens this will keep you fror enjoying your life.
You need to disengage from the current game you are in.
You need to take a different approach.
You have to play by your own success rules.
When you do success differently, not only will it increase your overall success, but also help you enjoy life more.
How do you do that?
By taking these 3 Baby Steps to Success
First, you need to acknowledge that you have to change. This may go against the grain.
It’s about acceptance. Of yourself. Of things as they are. So, you can move forward.
You do this by saying to yourself, over and over till it hurts: I love you.
Loving yourself means you will stop doing things that ultimately hurt you — who you are, at your core. Every time an issue arises, or you feel inadequate or insecure, tell yourself: I love you. Yes, you. Not someone else “out there.”
This simple step will give you the clarity and courage to move forward.
Then, you have to love yourself enough, continuously and constantly, to make the incremental changes you need, in attitude, beliefs and behaviours.
Yes. There need to be changes here. Baby steps. How do I want to feel? Can I let go of being a victim? Can I learn to forgive others? Whatever you intuit is your first attitude or behaviour to change, change it.
Then work out what you are really good at.
Finally, you have to ensure you are utilising your innate skills daily, at least 80% of the time. Doing so will get you into flow. Flow is a feeling of inner ease. Of achievement, of success. It’s like a river finding its own level. Smooth sailing. Flowing along at its own pace. Happy in its own lane.
What will keep you on track, being like a river, is knowing that, when things go bad, out of sync, you will be out of flow. You will know this because things are not coming to you easily and effortlessly. Life will be bumpy. Like going over rocks. Knowing this, you can then adjust your course.
But — how do I know what my innate skills, talents and abilities are?
Two ways. Ask yourself: What do I like doing? What am I good at? And focus on those things. If you cannot get those at work, do them socially, or in your hobbies. Or volunteer.
However, if you really are unsure, take a personality profiling assessment.
If you continue to play a man’s game. If you continue to be sucked into that vortex. If you don’t get your body/mind clear and ready by de-stressing. You will not be able to get to the top of the success ladder.
You’ll be climbing a different ladder. In a different forest.
Let’s face it. You are the most important person in your life.
Not your partner or husband. Not your parents. Not your children. You!
Your life is about you! Working with and developing your innate skills, talents and abilities. Not playing an unwinnable game.
See and understand the bigger picture.
Disengage from the nonsense. Instigate new practices.
You can become the success you deserve when you play your own success game. Your way. Enjoy your life first. Then do what you need to do.
Being the authentic you, inside!
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