By Celine Healy
You feel life’s like a top-spin.
Your life’s spinning out of control.
You feel overwhelmed. Too many things to do and not enough time!
It feels like chaos. An. It seems to be getting worse.
What to do to stay in control?
You’ve read dozens of lists on what to do to regain control. But there’s something missing. Something stopping you. You cannot seem to take the first step.
Being out of control. Feeling like there’s no bus stop anywhere near, is the result of huge stress impacting on your life. Understanding the elements of what’s driving your stress will enable you to gain back the control you desire.
Taking a three-brain approach will give you the tools to resolve this conflict.
How Will The Three-brain Approach Help You Gain Control ?
The three-brain approach involves the gut, the heart and the head.
Reversing how you approach dissolving the stress that creates your control issues can bring huge change, great relief and a happier way forward.
Stress used to be thought of as purely emotional. Some people thought it was merely mental. Others asserted it was a physiological response to a stimulus.
New evidence indicates it is all three.
The three-brain approach is this.
You have a thought.
You attach an emotion to that thought and then feel that emotion.
You then take action. Most people’s behaviour under stress involves putting something into their mouth: eating, drinking, smoking, taking medication or drugs. Most likely, something sweet or eating junk food.
We self-punish because we become overwhelmed.
The overwhelm is the result of a physical and chemical reaction. Stress releases hormones, cortisol. It floods our body. It makes us feel out of control.
No! it’s not in your mind! It’s a physical body reaction due to chemicals flooding your body!
If we don’t do anything about this, this bodily reaction, together with the bad food habits we have created, this will lead to gut imbalances.
That’s why the first step in the three-brain approach is to…
The gut is like a separate village of good and bad critters, If we continue to ignore our stressor triggers and continue to eat junk food (any bad food choices), eventually, the bad will outweigh the good.
We then create inflammation, infections and activate dormant viruses. We create allergies, PH imbalances.
We also create a sluggish metabolism due to an overload of heavy metal toxins.
If you are human and living on this planet in this lifetime, you will have ingested: chemicals, fumes, sprays, been exposed to plastics, computer screen emissions and so on.
It is not possible to escape these toxins which impact our daily lives, stealthily.
Research now indicates that this village of critters can create moods such as depression, inadequacy, overwhelm and feeling out of control.
This village has its’ own mind. It can create the chaos, the desperate sugar and food cravings that keep us stuck.
So, the first step in regaining control is to STOP bombarding your gut with toxic, non-food. Then, make the decision to do a detox. Then choose clean, natural, whole foods.
Your body/mind will love you for it!
Your heart is the processing unit of your feelings.
You have a thought.
You decide whether it is good or bad.
Then you attach an emotion to that thought.
The body then releases chemicals/hormones attached to that specific emotion. The hormones generate feelings.
These feelings are processed through the heart.
It’s like pumping blood. Your feelings are pumped throughout the body/mind.
The depth of the feeling, whether positive or negative, depends on what memories of experiences you have stored within your body/mind.
Your feelings have been ‘learned’.
You have been conditioned by your family of origin. The experiences, attitudes and beliefs you have had have come from patterns of behaviour, of expression, during your early childhood.
They are ingrained unless you have learned how to react to life differently. These are habits.
When a stressor trigger is activated, you automatically respond based on the pattern of stored memories. You react.
You do not have to think about it. Your body goes into this particular pattern of response.
Most stress responses are negative. They are based on our beliefs. One of the most widely held and deeply rooted negative belief that most people have is: ‘I am not good enough’.
If you are experiencing stress on a continuous basis, and the basis of that stress is the belief that you are “not good enough”, e.g. you’re overweight, you are constantly unlucky on love, you get overlooked for promotion, you feel insecure about something, then the emotion that is driving this feeling if “fear”.
Fear makes us feel overwhelmed and out of control. It can cause chaos in your life.
So, the way to reactivate the heart is to feed it daily with positive emotions. And. Change how you respond to stress.
What? You want me to consciously feel “good enough”?
No. Too hard!
When people love in fear and are constantly stressed out and feel out of control, they breathe incorrectly. They gasp for air. They do not get enough oxygen throughout their body/mind. Their central nervous system is taught and tense. They are like a spring coil ready to go off at any time. At the slightest impulse.
Retraining yourself to breathe correctly will relax your central nervous system. Help nourish the body with more oxygen. This then will give you a sense of having more time because you are no longer tense.
You will be able to stand back and observe.
You will be able to choose your feelings.
Choose how you react or whether you will react to a stressor trigger.
You will have gained back control over your feelings.
Control over your life!
In most articles you will find this as a first step.
For me, it is too hard to do. It takes enormous amounts of willpower. Willpower takes conscious effort.
You are the way you are and thinking the thoughts you have, due to your protective subconscious mind.
It wants to keep you safe. Just the way you are now. The subconscious is thousands of times more powerful than the conscious mind.
So, a different approach is needed.
Your head. Your brain. Your mind is a processing unit. You have thoughts. We don’t know exactly where those thoughts come from. They just seem to float by.
We get into trouble when we grab hold of a thought and attach a meaning to it.
For example — here is a fact, a thought: Tom got promoted over me. If your beliefs and past experiences have a habit of attaching this kind of meaning to that thought: “I have been overlooked. Therefore, I’m not good enough” — this then will lead you down the path of emitting molecules of a fearful, inadequate feeling.
These negative feelings create the release of stress hormones, which lead to flooding the body with cortisol, which can lead to feelings of overwhelm and being out of control. Especially if we you do that often.
We then continue our cycle of self-punishment: thinking negative thoughts, creating negative feelings and destroying our gut with bad food and drink choices.
The key to gaining control over the metal aspect, in effect, changing your mindset is, pretty much, not to do that at all to start with.
– Change your physiology first by changing what and how you eat — this creates long-term gut imbalance issues
– Learn how to breathe correctly, breathing in positive emotions as you go — this retrains your default position to be more positive
– then, finally, as a last step, you will be able to change your mindset.
You do not have to grab hold of thoughts as they float by.
You do not have to attach meaning/feelings to these thoughts.
You will be able to stand back and observe and then choose what you do after that.
In this way you really will have gained total control over your life. The only thing you really have control over is you, your life and how you live it.
Taking these steps is the best way to achieve that!
In trying to gain control over your life, there is a process to go through.
Most people start by trying to change their mindset, when, in reality, if you are stressed out from being out of control, this is the last thing that you can do, focus! You simply can’t! It takes too much effort and willpower.
Take the easier path. Feeling better emotionally and physically is the way to go. The mind will automatically follow.
Imagine what your life will be like: brimming with health, vitality and energy. Able to do the things that seem to out of your control at present. Having clarity, being able to focus, able to set and achieve goals!
Taking the steps in a slightly different order than you have been told, will bring you the control
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